Your Wedding Ceremony should be uniquely yours. You are making your own tradition, using the symbolism that is important and special to you. Your ceremony can be as simple or as complex as you want it. It can be brief and succinct, or long and elaborate.
Timing
Often the first concern of the couple seems to be the timing. They don’t want it too long for a couple of reasons, usually reasons of comfort. They don’t want family or friends sitting or standing in the hot sun, or anywhere, for an unbearably long time. They, the couple, don’t want to be standing in front of everyone for an unbearably long time. And above all, they don’t want the ceremony to be boring and tedious for anybody! I absolutely guarantee you, your ceremony is not going to be boring, at all! No matter how long or short it is. As long as it is a ceremony that agrees with you and expresses (symbolically or otherwise) what you want expressed; it will be beautiful, perfect, and interesting – to everybody. And it will go by a lot faster than you ever imagined. And then it will only be a memory. So make sure that it is just what you want, and don’t worry about anybody thinking it is too long, too outrageous, too short, or too anything. As long as it’s about you, it will be perfect!
Often the first concern of the couple seems to be the timing. They don’t want it too long for a couple of reasons, usually reasons of comfort. They don’t want family or friends sitting or standing in the hot sun, or anywhere, for an unbearably long time. They, the couple, don’t want to be standing in front of everyone for an unbearably long time. And above all, they don’t want the ceremony to be boring and tedious for anybody! I absolutely guarantee you, your ceremony is not going to be boring, at all! No matter how long or short it is. As long as it is a ceremony that agrees with you and expresses (symbolically or otherwise) what you want expressed; it will be beautiful, perfect, and interesting – to everybody. And it will go by a lot faster than you ever imagined. And then it will only be a memory. So make sure that it is just what you want, and don’t worry about anybody thinking it is too long, too outrageous, too short, or too anything. As long as it’s about you, it will be perfect!
What should your symbolism be? Your symbolism should express what you care about. Rather than have symbolism or an additional ceremony just to spice it up, I would rather the couple focus on just what is important to them. Sometimes it is the simplicity of their relationship that is most important. Sometimes it is about the complexity. Sometimes it is the connection with family – past, present, and future. Sometimes it is just about the here-and-now. “Growing, caring, sharing, giving, continuity, respect and honor” are just some of the aspects of a relationship that couples often like to symbolize through an additional ceremony.
If you choose to add an additional ceremony to your wedding ceremony, make it your own: Feel free to change the text, the order of events, the symbolism.
Here are just some examples of additional ceremonies couples have added. The list of ceremonies available to you is endless.
Blessings
Have a family member or friend, or several, offer a blessing(s).
Poetry
You, your family members, or friends can read poetry.
Candle Lighting
Often called The Unity Candle. The couple can each light a tapered candle, and then with it, together, light a larger (unity) candle. Other family members, friends, or all present can also help light (or be illuminated by) the candle
Sand Pouring
Similar to the Unity Candle. Variations could be adding sand or earth from your favourite places. You could invite guests to bring sand or earth from their favourite places.
Hand-fasting
Couples choose cords. Sometimes each cord has its own vow or set of vows for the couple. Any number of cords will do, so choose a number significant for you. The cords can be made of anything you choose, so the material (and color) can be very significant to you, too. The cords are tied together and then slipped off the hands and put in a special cloth or box. This is the ancient practice that brought us the phrase “to tie the knot.”
San San Ku Do (3-3-9, Sake Sipping Ceremony)
Traditionally, the officiant pours sake (Japanese rice wine) 3 times into a cup for the Bride and a cup for the Groom. The Bride and Groom then drink the cups of sake in 3 sips. The cups are then filled 2 more times, and each time the Bride and Groom each drink the cup in 3 sips. Three times three. The first cup of sake drunk by the couple is in honor of their union and future life together. The second is in honor of their parents. And the third honors their ancestors and the whole world.
Tree Planting
The planting of the tree symbolizes a couple's strong connection to, and respect for, the earth and all of nature. It also represents their commitment to the growing and nurturing of their relationship.
Bell Ringing
The ringing of the bell (or the Singing Bowl) can begin a silent meditation period of any length, or not. The emanating tone can represent the couple’s emanating love that grows to include all.
Vows to Family
Couples can include family members and special friends to be a part of the ceremony by offering vows for the couple to make to each other, or to others.
Your Wedding Ceremony is very special and unique to you. It is a very powerful ceremony that will have a lasting effect on all present. You should feel free to invent your own ceremony.
If you need help getting started, you can start by thinking about: What is important to you? Where are your favorite places? What are your favorite things to do together? How do you wish to impact the world? What are your favorite shared memories? Take symbolism and elements from your own life. If you would like help with this, that is what I'm here for! I'm happy to help you find the perfect symbolism for the ceremony that marks the rest of your life together.
