Getting a Handle on Your Vows

Vows! This is the part of the ceremony where you get to speak from the heart, in front of an audience. It's the part where you declare your love, your intentions and your commitment. It's the part everybody has travelled far and wide to see and hear. It's intensely personal, and intensely public. Arghhhh! 

Don't worry about it.
You can write your own vows, or we can find others that are appropriate to you.
Your vows can be elaborate or simple. They can take any form or order you choose.
You can recite or read them yourself, repeat them after the officiant, or simply answer "I do" after a series of questions (or one big question).
How you handle your vows is up to you.
The possibilities might be limitless. But, for starters...

Here are 4 examples of ways you can structure your vows: 

1) Simple Vows with “I do” response:

• “Do you ________ take ________ to be your ________? Do you…?” “I do”
• “Do you 
________ take ________ to be your ________? Do you…?” “I do”
Often couples like to include the first line of these simple “I do” vows after their other vows.

2) Personalized Vows: (These can be read by you, or read by me to have you repeat. It doesn't matter who goes first, the Bride or Groom.)

Groom: (he speaks)…

Bride: (she speaks…)

3) Simple Vows you can repeat (this is just an example)

I, __________, take you, _________, --to be my husband, my partner in life --and my one true love. --Your Beauty, Heart, & Mind inspire me --to be the best person I can be. --I will cherish our union --and love you more each day --than I did the day before. --I will trust you and respect you, --laugh with you and cry with you, --loving you faithfully --through good times and bad --regardless of the obstacles --we may face together. --I give you my heart, --my love,-- my everything, --from this day forward --and all of eternity.

I, ___________, take you, __________, --to be my wife, my partner in life --and my one true love. --Your Beauty, Heart, & Mind inspire me --to be the best person I can be. --I will cherish our union --and love you more each day --than I did the day before. --I will trust you and respect you, --laugh with you and cry with you, --loving you faithfully --through good times and bad --regardless of the obstacles --we may face together. --I give you my heart, --my love,-- my everything, --from this day forward --and all of eternity.

4) More elaborate vows, with "I do" response(this is just an example)


•  Do you, _________ and ___________, pledge to help each other in developing your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, patience, enthusiasm, and wisdom, as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life, and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity?
“we do”

•  Do you pledge to support each other's journey, to continually shine light on each other's virtue, and support individual intuitions?

“we do”

•   Do you pledge to work for the welfare of others, with all of your compassion, wisdom, and skill? Do you pledge to remember the harmfulness of ignorance, anger and clinging attachment, and recall the kindness of all other beings and your connection to them?

“we do”

•   Recognizing that the external conditions in life will not always be smooth and that internally, your own minds and emotions will sometimes get challenged by negativity, do you pledge to see all these circumstances as opportunities to grow, to open your hearts, to accept yourselves, and each other?

“we do”
 
•  Do you pledge to rest on each other in all sorrows and to minister to each other in all pain?

“we do”
 
•  Do you pledge to preserve and enrich your affection for each other, and to share it with all beings? To take the loving feelings you have for one another and your vision of each other's potential and inner beauty as an example, and to radiate this love outwards to all beings?

“we do”                            

•  Do you pledge to cultivate gratitude for the boundless gifts you have received?

“we do”


Special ceremonies can have their own special set of vows. For example, there are vows specifically tailored for Hand-fasting, Unity Candle, and Rose Ceremonies.

However you handle your vows, the choice is up to you! And I am very happy to help.

No comments:

Post a Comment